CAUTION: The following writing contains traces of nuts. And swear words.
It’s often been said that nobody likes a fake, they’d rather someone genuine. But hiding behind a mask is just part of being human. It’s also been mentioned, that we should try to free ourselves from ego, and just be who we really are. But quite a lot of us fear the judgement a first impression might bring. And there are sayings which encourage us not to worry about what others think, just relax, and carry on. But what if we get it wrong?
That wrong bit is my personal un-favourite. Self-doubt trigger for sure. But to err is human they say. We learn from our mistakes. Life’s lessons give us wisdom. Our elders are often wise. Well I want to pose a question. Which one is it? Because, pardon my French, but I’m becoming a little pissed-off and jaded by all the wisdom in the world right now. No sooner have I finished becoming inspired by a sunset picture with wise and uplifting words, along comes a funny cat picture saying the total opposite!!!! Note to self; are contradictions part of being human too I wonder?
I bumped into a few people last week who were all wanting to connect with others in more meaningful ways. I also spent two days with a group focussing on improving our connecting abilities. As we went through our training and our motions, our skills began to hone. It was then I seized the moment to kick my own arse for not doing more of one particular thing. I needed to be more human. In fact, we all did.
Lo and behold, as we began to further embrace our emotive human side, our connection abilities shifted up a notch. We had no masks, we weren’t no fakes. We was just being us. And it was good.
Funny thing, human interaction works better when we’re being human. I mean really, how many of us can emotionally connect with a robot? And no Siri doesn’t count. Getting to know people better, at a more genuine level, in a shorter space of time, only happens when we’re being ourselves. Being us. Yes, we start with masks, and are on our best behaviour, all whilst protecting our ego and our feelings. But once we drop the props, and get a little real, that’s when everything changes for the better.
Now perhaps you’re thinking, “Yeah I aint gunna let my bag of crazy out too early”, and for that I’d imagine some of us may thank you. But what if the person you’re trying to connect with likes a little bit of crazy? You’d never know unless you lifted the lid a little right? But if that’s who you really are, then do the scary thing. Be willing to be a bit more human and show more of yourself.
Here’s something I learned not too many years ago about the so-called art of being human. It’s the best way to be. Here’s another thing I learned, it’s possibly one of the hardest things to do. And why is that so? Because it reveals us, it exposes us, and removes what we try to keep hidden. Being human forces us to let go of the shit we know we’re desperately trying to cling to, but can’t defend the notion of why. Another note to self; let go of more indefensible shit.
And if you’re keen to become that honest and open with yourself, I want to remind you of the solace that can be found in a few worldly truths. Not everyone will like us, and we won’t like everyone. We’ll agree and disagree, we’ll judge and be judged. All of that, is part of being human. But it’s better we do that, through being who we really are.
The Real Story.
I can’t fake it to you that I’m so totally actually literally altogether, like, oh my god I’m so awesome now since ….. I don’t know like ……… FOREVER! Because that just isn’t me. I wrote a book on what an immensely fucked-up person I used to be. And I’ll continue to write about the moments where I struggle to maintain the mindset of the far better person I have become. For me that level of honesty is scarier makes me feel shit-scared. My greatest fear is judgement. But I push through that because there might just be someone out there who sees me being human to that level, and considers that enough of a reason for them to try too. Who knows how good that could be?
So let me wind this up by saying, if you want better connections or people or friends or co-workers or bosses or just better relationships in general, then cut the crap and start being human. Encourage others to be human too. Work hard, be brave, enjoy what comes next. Because nobody ever lived a wonderful life by trying to be someone else.